fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
