Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
