But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
