have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He better not be in your backpack
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
