I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize