i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
