I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When are your genitals available?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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