I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
