i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize