I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
