Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
