I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
