I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
