Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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