Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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