she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
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