You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize