Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
