I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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