I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
