i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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