Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
