We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize