When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
