Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize