well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think my nap took me to another dimension
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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