yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
