i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize