I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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