Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
