So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
