I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
