You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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