I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
