idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sorry about my life...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
