In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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