her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
