You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
