lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
