Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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