Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
