This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
