): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
