Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
