i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
