please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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