vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
