The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
