so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
