I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
