I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize