its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
