Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
