oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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