Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
