There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
