I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
