I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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