You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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