I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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