Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
