youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
