AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Randomize