"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
